pale_elf: (006)
[personal profile] pale_elf
[Astarion's hunger had been... placated, lately, since he got to completely drain the warden of the tower's prison while helping the prisoners escape. That... that was probably the only good thing he could say about the past few days, no matter how the passing of time was just a vague concept in the Shadow Cursed lands.

He was actually happy when, returning to the camp, Nepione informed him the entire deal with Halsin was over, they fixed what had to be fixed and now they could focus on taking another step forward. He was not so happy when he realized the druid offered to stay and he knew he was going to stick around for a lot longer. And then it only got worse while discussing who to take to the tower. karlach and Lae'Zel weren't an option, stealth was key and they weren't exactly one with the shadows. Speaking of Shadows, the Sharran cleric wanted to 'come' but her interest was to check the entrance of the temple Astarion made the mistake of mentioning at some point so she was going her own way and Wyll... well, Wyll was good in many ways, combat wise, but he hurt himself being all heroic while defending a protal or something... 

In the end, he had to walk in the tower with his cleric.... plus Gale and Halsin on tow. Who didn't need someone who could shapeshift and check the area while flying? Who didn't want a wizard who prepared a book full of utility spells just for this? Astarion. Astarion didn't want them. And while his little hostility game with Gale was just the two of them poking and annoying each other, he couldn't say the same for the Care Bear Nepione seemed to like so much.

The entire trip had been... annoying. He was irritable, no matter what was being done, and he could feel the druid chattering all the time. And of course Halsin had to prove himself invaluable when they met the cat behind the tower and he was the only one who could speak with animals. And of course Halsin was able to fly inside the Oubliette in his shapeshift form instead of having a more difficult time like anyone else. Of course as a bird he was thin enough to fly through bars and help gnomes and Tieflings out. The only joy had been meeting the lady in the kitchen again and getting the gnolls to eat her.

But this only happened with Nepione nowhere in sight. 

And then there was the Araj thing. He didn't even know how to process what happened. The room made him nauseous, that woman's smell was repulsive, yet he was ready to get through another moment of pure disgust just to get the potion Karlach could probably do a wonderful use of. His body, his best tool for a trade, no matter how much he hated the idea of ingesting any of the shit the alchemist had running in her body. Yet Nepione said no. No comments from Gale or Halsin, but the cleric went against the group's best interest just because he was reluctant? Like, what?

He... needed time to process that. It just didn't seem the right moment to stop and think, not when they were already planning to move after a rest to tackle the sharran temple and see what the Nightsong was, no. Mizora also decided to show her nose in the camp, causing everyone discomfort, but at least they managed to figure out a way to free Wyll from her as long as they did what they had to. To think Astarion almost hoped Raphael finally decided to show his face and tell him what he wanted.

After Mizora's little visit, then, Arabella decided to leave Something about the Weave telling her it was the right moment to go, that her path was now open and if she wanted to become her best self she had to follow it. Astarion didn't join the little goodbye party, even if she specifically took time to thank him (and even called him 'Fangies'), but he knew it affected the others. Or, well, at least it affected Nepione.

The woman's maternal instinct had to be strong, her entire demeanor shifted just so slightly and considering she somehow constantly landed within his field of view... the spawn could see her struggles.

It was a matter of survival, that's what he told himself after waking up middle meditation and starting to check between the many things he collected over the last weeks. She was the leader and she didn't need distractions, it was only natural wanting to get her mind off more depressing thoughts than she needed. If it was a kid she wanted, she could make one herself or adopt one when this was all over and everyone was safe to go their own way. The spawn grunted, tossing to the side trinkets of all kinds, gathering a thin string of pearls and two long silver, silky ribbons that totally didn't come from a fancy purse he... borrowed. Ah, perfect, a lovely comb that wasn't too broken- he had everything he needed.

It was when the fire was starting to die down that he left his tent, tossing yet another piece of wood in it, and moved toward the cleric's resting place, saying 'knock knock' while tapping his hand against the fabric that served as door. He was going to invite himself him either way, but he felt like he needed to give her time to prepare herself.]

Date: 2023-12-18 05:51 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (pic#16811279)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[That... sounded like a relatively terrifying game. She could agree to it, but it was fear-inducing. Likely meant to be. But also likely meant to even the field between them. How would know, however—]

How do I know that you'll tell the truth? We both know that I will because I'm not exactly good at the alternative.

[And evasion, sidestepping, those things weren't the same as actually lying.]

But you've made your entire life, it seems, about lying. I can never tell when you're being sincere or not. [Well.] That is. Most of the time, I can't tell. There are moments we've had in which I have earnestly believed you. And if I was wrong to do so, then maybe it was only because I wanted to.

[Drawing in a breath, she held it as she considered his proposition, blissfully unaware of the temptation he was faced with when so close to her neck, though for at least the moments that he'd lingered at her ear, she'd thought a great deal about that. Of course, maybe it was simply that she thought about him being close to her in any proximity.]

I don't mind humouring you if you actually intend to answer anything I ask with truth. I guess the unnecessary rule here is that anything said in here stays in here, regardless of what it might be.

Date: 2023-12-18 06:17 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (#16769100)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[...Ah, yes. The tadpoles. Although she had very specifically avoided anything to do with that. It did not feel right trying to get into the heads of those around her. And in the same way that she could have done so with him, he just as easily could have turned it around on her. And she knew he hadn't because she would have felt it. There was no hiding when their tadpoles communicated. It was often an uncomfortable experience. One she wasn't keen on having too much of.]

Hardly seems fair for you to just leave if you don't like what's asked of you, considering you're the one putting this on the table.

[But whatever. She couldn't blame him for wanting to protect himself.]

That said, I suppose I can agree. I get to ask you something first, then?

[Information for information. Nervously, she tapped her fingertips against the cover of her book, its contents easily forgotten in the face of preferred companionship.]

Date: 2023-12-18 06:52 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (#16769102)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[...What even to ask him. It wasn't that she didn't have plenty of questions. Of course she did, but she felt like she had to pick very particular ones. Nothing too heavy to start out with, otherwise he was going to go sprinting in the opposite direction. She also wondered if he might repay her with the same courtesy. Probably... not. She did not think of 'courteous' when she thought of Astarion.

Setting her book aside, she leaned back onto her palms, trying to remain somewhat still for him, though that seemed a little more difficult to do in the face of what could potentially be heavier conversation. She could understand the appeal entirely in running away from something that was a little too much for one to handle. Cowardly, perhaps, but also a means of self-preservation. Hard to judge when she often did the same thing.]


Hmmm...

[She raised an eyebrow, thinking she had one that might only result in the raise of his brow.]

Do you really hate Gale? You pick on him a lot. I wondered if that was just your way of showing affection or if you actually just don't like him.

Date: 2023-12-18 07:26 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (pic#16811277)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[His response made her smile, and she couldn't help but be thankful that he couldn't see it when he was posited behind her. Come to think of it, she liked that they weren't having a conversation where she had to make eye contact. For eyes were often the windows to the soul, or so books said, and Nepione understood very well that whilst she could often keep her expression even, she could not say the same when it came to how she looked at others sometimes.]

Of course not. I didn't say it, but the implication was that I'd keep whatever you say in here between us. [Whether he'd adhere to the same thing or not. She was nothing, if not a woman of honour and integrity.] And I think I get what you mean. He gets easily flustered.

[Pot, meet kettle.

At his question, she didn't give him an immediate response, which meant she was genuinely thinking of how to answer. It really wasn't a difficult question either and she had to appreciate that. And it was about what she liked, not what she was afraid others would think of her as a result.]


That it's easy to underestimate me objectively. The state of the world being what it is makes it a difficult thing to press forward and to be optimistic. And I understand that it takes strength for me to be kind and honest, especially in situations where I have every right and reason to be the opposite. Knowing that I'm stronger and more resilient than others think I am is a good thing and it keeps me safe.

[If that counted. She certainly seemed to think it did. But she wanted to give him a chance to respond instead of just drowning him in questions.]

Date: 2023-12-19 07:08 am (UTC)
divinestrike: (#16769100)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[Trying to imagine a leadership type Gale made her smile. In a way, she could see it. He loved to hear himself talk. With the right audience, he could be very captivating, so basically anyone who wasn't Astarion.

When she heard him shift, she began to adjust her posture, turning just enough that she had to twist her form to settle her weight into a hand. Looking up at him, she almost told him to forego the mirror and he could just tell her what he thought of it himself.

She didn't much care for mirrors, probably because she didn't much care for looking at herself, but she could humour him. At his suggestion she nodded.]


I'll think of another for when you get back.

[Interesting that he wanted to come back. He could have used it as a must valid excuse to leave her there. Avoid difficult conversation. He still could, after all. If he didn't come back, then she certainly knew why. It did make her wonder where her prying should take her next.

And it... was a little validating to hear his input. It wasn't what she expected to hear of him. She actually imagined he would reprimand her for such foolishness. Those who were kind, after all, tended to be easily to manipulate. She could be taken advantage of. Or ordinarily would have been if she wasn't already convinced nearly everyone would do that to begin with.

Regardless, done viewed kindness as a weakness, not realising how strong it truly was. Easy to kill a man. Harder to spare them and treat them as human.]

Date: 2023-12-19 08:40 am (UTC)
divinestrike: (pic#16769085)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
Earrings?

She'd still been in the process of thinking about what she would gently pry into him over when she heard him. In the time that he'd gone to fetch his mirror and whatever else, it'd given her just enough time to rearrange her tent, just so it would be comfortable for them both. She didn't really have anything that he did, or that the others did. Frankly, most of her items and pieces of decor were impersonal and strictly usable.

Lifting a hand to touch one of her ears, she traced along the edge of it thoughtfully.]

I never have, but I think I can.

[Gently shifting aside a small, low table, it had space for his mirror and whatever else. Last minute adjustments and she decided they were probably as comfortable as they were going to get.

At least she didn't go sprawling all over her bedding, trying to look alluring, and only looking silly.]


Let me take a look. And think about this to answer when you're ready—

When you meditate, what kinds of things do you dream about, or whom?

Date: 2023-12-19 11:57 am (UTC)
divinestrike: (#16769109)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[When he sat in front of her to present her with the pretty mirror she so often saw amid his things, she hesitated before she leaned forward to get a better look. She didn't much like her reflection, but the way he presented her, she thought...

She wasn't sure she looked much like herself at all. On the contrary, she looked like a version of self that could have been well off. Almost like some alternate. And it was beautiful. Really beautiful. She didn't dare lift her hands to touch or trace the tail of braid. So instead, she turned her head this way and that.]


I understand where you're coming from, but I meant that I've never worn them before. I think perhaps my parents already put the holes in. You can check, if you'd like.

[That felt like a distant memory. Being asked to be brave. Tears welling up in her eyes. The sharp sliver of pain that had been worth it. Just as most pain had been. And she remembered having a few others as well.

For a moment, she drew her clawed fingertip along the right plane of her nose, and above the arch of her left eyebrow, more often than not, hidden by her hair.]


Here, too.

[But slowly her thoughts turned onto how he explained his meditations. She never really understood them as much as she wanted to. They sounded both... powerful and weak at the same time. Scary to know he was at his most vulnerable. Maybe he meditated lightly. She didn't know how else he was going to protect himself.

Didn't surprise her at all to hear what he chose to meditate over, though. Cazador was usually the go-to for everything else in his life, after all.

As she continued to examine her reflection from every possible angle, she found her voice.]


Being able to control the subject of your meditations sounds neat. And I can imagine that in them is a safe way to explore things. Even when it comes to your feeding habits. Probably a bit novel to be able to feed off of something other than animals. I think if I was the same way—

[For just a moment, she carefully showed the sharp of her teeth in the mirror, easily able to imagine where striking fangs would have been.]

—I would take a lot of pleasure in feeding off of people.
Edited Date: 2023-12-19 11:58 am (UTC)

Date: 2023-12-19 01:14 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (pic#16769094)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[Her gaze only flickered to him for some moments when he perched himself like so. In most other situations, she might have stopped outright looking at herself, but she also understood that he'd spent a portion of time only getting to see the results of his work from the back. It seemed fair to let him see it from the front as well, though she had to fight the temptation to explain to him that such a style was probably a little too high class for someone like her who... wasn't high class at all.

That eye contact, however, didn't last for too long. Before she could start really thinking about whether he meant such flirtatious lines (she assumed he didn't), she looked back to her reflection just some moments more before she eventually settled back, changing her posture once more and leaving her hands in her lap, trying to remember if she'd ever had lucid dreams. She didn't think so. At least it certainly never felt like she could control them. It was also entirely feasible she just didn't have the discipline required for such things.

If she could learn to do such a thing, however, perhaps it would have been an invaluable tool for a cleric. Something to reflect on actions of the past and the present, to apply them to the future, naturally. What he asked her next easily interrupted any additional thoughts of the like passing through her mind. Again, she didn't give him an immediate answer, which meant that one, she didn't have it, and two, it was worthy of a little more thought than something hasty.

It also meant that she was still being dreadfully honest.]


That depends on what version of that explanation you want. [As it so happened, she was going to give him each.] Our Lady of Silver teaches Her followers that all are welcome. Worthy of love, acceptance, and equality. [Save Shar, of course, though Nepione had her own thoughts on that, which she was not inclined to share with any clergy or other devout followers.] I choose to embody that in my own way. I put others before me because that to me is an expression of my love at its most basic form. [After a moment's consideration, she continued, though not with some additional thought.] Part of it is that I place the importance of others at a higher priority. That doesn't mean I'm not important. It just means that to me, the people I care about are of more import. With or without my teachings, I wouldn't be any different. My faith has little to do with it other than coincidence.

Date: 2023-12-19 06:15 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (pic#16811314)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[In watching him, she could really only guess at what he must have thought, which was rather par for the course when it came to their time together. If he was ever concerned about being boring (unlikely), that simply was impossible. He always left her guessing. She could never claim with certainty that she knew what he was thinking at any given time.

Except when it came to revenge against Cazador. For obvious reasons. Once he had that out of the way, however, she had no idea what he would be like or what he'd want. Chances were, he wasn't going to know either.

As he lied down, she leaned down just a touch, tilting her head somewhat curiously, though didn't bother to put any space between them, thinking for once that it was just very... comfortable. The conversation, even with heavier topics, the companionship, though he was rather expert at catching her off guard. She could say then, at those moments, that she felt content.

Happy, perhaps? Comfortable.]


That is difficult, actually.

[Because Halsin did something similar, which had made it stupidly difficult to help him at all. He would have been content to prioritise the tadpole conundrum above the Shadow-Curse if she hadn't made them go out of their way to actually get him information. But fortunately once she'd started that, Halsin sort of fell into that one-track focus and she no longer had to worry about him trying to make her his focus. There was, of course, no way to guarantee it would remain that way after they truly cleansed and restored the realm.

With a soft lyrical hum that had neither rhyme nor reason, she tapped claws atop her lap, shifting her weight into the palm that brought her closer to where he had made himself comfortable.]


What was your favourite part about being a Magistrate, or did you never like it at all? I can see you being well-fit for having a position of power, but just because someone's good at the role doesn't mean they enjoy it. If you could, would you want to go back to it?

Date: 2023-12-19 07:37 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (pic#16811281)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[Along with the realisation that she didn't dislike how they'd come to the present moment, came another one. That she could have listened to him talk for hours. Be it about magistrate trials, the inappropriate architecture plans of Baldur's Gate early days, even if he was just complaining. Maybe it was because it didn't feel forced. It didn't feel like he was constructing something just to please her. It felt very real.

He felt very real then.

When she realised that perhaps she stared at him a little too intensely, that she was beginning to hang on his every word, despite being unable to more properly contribute to that line of work or the intelligence that clearly went into it, she wondered just for a beat, what exactly was happening. How long it'd been happening. At what point it had begun to happen. And how she was supposed to define 'it.'

Attachment, she supposed. She was attached to him. In some way. Fond? Fond. But no, that was stupid. She already knew that.

Yet, as she nodded along, thought about how to address the past that sat behind him, he was so close that all it would have taken was for her to reach down with her hand to gently trace the line of his jaw. To admire the comparison between shades of blue and a white that was like sculpted porcelain. Were his lips as soft as the rest of him?

Shaking her head for only a moment to free herself of the thoughts that tumbled around, she momentarily nipped into her lower lip before drawing in a breath to even herself. Perhaps to steady her pulse, for she suspected she could get altogether too wrapped up in her curiosity where he was concerned.]


That sounds— [She began, trying to piece her words back together.] Well. It sounds ridiculous. But it also does sound like something you would enjoy. Unpredictable and somewhat chaotic. You seem to like that sort of thing. I guess there's a lot appealing about the unexpected. The spontaneous. You've never struck me as the sort to be terribly interested in routine.

[Where she was so often by the book, he seemed only too pleased to break so many of the rules. Where he could. Or at least to test the boundaries that had been set before him.]

Date: 2023-12-19 08:41 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (pic#16811301)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[Had she ever seen him so animated? She wasn't certain she had, though he had plenty of moments where he had certainly been something like it. When he moved to sit back up, she tried not to disturb him too much with the way she was positioned, still settling her weight into her palm. Her other hand draped in her lap and as he poured out his story, all she could do was really listen as he seemed to get carried away.

Maybe the past had that effect on everyone, though. Well, anyone who was animated. It was nice to see in him. But then, seeing any version of Astarion where he wasn't consumed entirely by his anger, rightfully placed as it was, was refreshing. And nice. Almost heartwarming.

As he motioned above her, she tipped up her chin to watch before returning the soft glow of her eyes to his face and the turn in his expression, melodramatic as it ever was. It moved again when he gestured beneath her, or whatever it was he was doing, as she dipped her head with a subtle smile, perhaps a bit charmed.

An innocent Astarion...? Why was that so difficult to imagine? Maybe because she'd only ever known him as the way he was right in front of her.]


I didn't know you looked so much like your brother. [She admitted. Although she didn't know really anything about his siblings, except that he had them.] Or that you didn't have a mole. Although I guess I've never looked closely and I really only have seen your back, I think. I'll keep all of that in consideration.

[Not that she expected to run into any of his siblings. Or potential mole-checkings, for that matter.]

So what ended up happening with the case and this gnome lady? I assume everything was straightened out.

Date: 2023-12-19 09:28 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (pic#16769091)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[Straightening her posture a bit, she finally folded her hands back together, which seemed to be her go-to for trying to keep herself from fidgeting. As he leaned in, she moved only a scarce bit from him, though not significantly. Not the way she supposed she would have if they hadn't already been through what they had. Still enough to make her nervous, but... pleasantly so.

She didn't even know that was possible.]


The more you know... Can't say I've ever really known any gnomes.

[They probably weren't all bad, but trying to make a case like that to Astarion wasn't likely to go much of anywhere.

At his question, she looked thoughtful and then she shook her head.]


No, no. Probably not the way you have, anyway. I'm not a magistrate, after all. And I don't have centuries behind me. I'm... still pretty young in comparison. Not... I'm not saying you're old.

[...Well, there went all of her elegance. Or her attempts to be somewhat tasteful and refined. She was doing so good.]

Basically, no. I've a severe shortage of amusing stories to share.

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Astarion

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