pale_elf: (015)
[personal profile] pale_elf
[Saying things kept going worse and worse for the little merry team was the understatement of the century. From trying to kill an undead and immortal enemy to finding out there were three madmen behind their little predicament, to realizing they were the chosen of the three Dead Ones and then even adding an Elder Brain to the mix. Astarion's anxiety did skyrocket pretty hard, especially after exploring the entirety of the Mind Flayer colony and seeing how so many people turned. How few of them were there to be saved. The only good thing they got from that god forsaken place was Us, the disgusting little creature the vampire often summoned just to annoy the others.

Us was... there, at least. And it kept his hands busy when he found himself fidgety or too nervous, the other two pups were too large to be picked up after all and he needed to have hs hands busy. They were all marching toward Baldur's Gate, the spawn being as distant from everyone as he could be. Him and Gale teamed up at some point to mark down the most important places they had to check once they arrived in the city. Needless to say, the vampire also made sure to mention every single possible brothel until Karlach put him into a headlock everything devolved into chaos. Overall, everyone was trying to keep the camp's spirit up, even Lae'Zel with her motivational speeches (?) that were more intimidatory than anything.

At least ONE of them was sure she was going to kill the Elder brain for her people, huh?

It was when Baldur's Gate was at the Horion that things shifted in an even worse direction for Astarion. He spotted a familiar figure in the distance while waiting for Withers to let him know if he could privately get some hirelings for self defense and he knew it was time. He excused himself saying he needed something to eat and it was easier to find it before reaching the city, reached Raphael and finally managed to find out what the deal with his scars was.

He had to stop on his way back to the camp to deal with a rising panic attack he could barely hold back, and then stood in front of the fire for hours, probably, while everyone proceeded to settle down. The more he repeated the Devil's information in his mind, the more he knew he was doomed. It was surprising that it was Halsin who asked him if he needed to talk after placing a hand upon his shoulder, but he shook his head and merely glanced around the area. 'She's up on the walls' the druid said, not realizing  Astarion was merely weightning his chances to survive if Cazador's spawns and thralls decided to attack. If his master decided to attack and claim him back. None.

He still thanked the fellow elf with a small nod, getting up on his feet and allowing them to follow their path up to the Tiefling. She was so beautiful with her skin kissed by the day's last lights, but he couldn't even stop to appreciate that as he considered how to break the silence he fell into right after discovering the truth. In the end, he decided that there was no sweet way around his issues and a direct approach was needed.]


I will be leaving the group before dawn.

Date: 2023-12-22 03:06 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (#16769101)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[Why did it seem as if every answer they received was worse than the one that preceded it? At a point, things had to get better, didn't they? Or was it just going to... to increasingly grow ever the more difficult? The gods must have had quite the sense of humour, to put all of them through this. To watch their children suffer, though Nepione understood that Ao forbade divine intervention.

If she were a goddess, she would have broken all of the rules, she was most certain.

The tiefling appreciated that the others seemed to be in relative control. That they found themselves perhaps bolstered by the return to what was familiar to them. She couldn't say she felt any sense of relief. It was true that Baldur's Gate had been, for a time, something like a home. Sort of. It was a place in which she had lived. But when she left it, she had not considered going back.

As she stood high up on the walls, leaned against cold masonry and stone, she simply stared out into the distance of the city's grandeur. So many would have been thrilled with the sight. She felt... conflicted. That was one way of putting it. Dark hair fell from the way she had it still drawn up, ever trying to keep Astarion's advice in mind. Ever imperfect, as was the rest of her.

Leaning onto her arms, she could have stared at it forever, watching the way the sun was inclined to sink elsewhere. Simply wondering how many days she had left. Wondering if she would be able to, indeed, carry the rest to something like victory. She'd made it so far, hadn't she? In the face of what felt like impossible odds. And what if she couldn't? What if she turned? What if she... Well.

Dying wasn't an if. It was a when.

She heard his footsteps before she ever heard his voice, though it wasn't until he spoke that she turned to look over to him. The furrow in her brow gave her away.]


What are you talking about? [She began, lifting a hand to subconsciously fix the way her garb sat on her, soft leathers and cotton lace. Something more befitting their arrival into a place she had once been a part of.] Leaving for where exactly?

Date: 2023-12-22 03:37 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (pic#16769094)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[Raphael—

Of course it was Raphael. Again. The next time she saw that... that devil, she was going to wrap her pretty little cleric hands around his neck and— No. No, no, no. That was just a death sentence for them all. If she could at least choose how she was going to go, it was going to be with a bit more dignity than that. Hopefully.]


So that's it? You're just going to give up? Just like that?

[It didn't align with what she knew of him. If he was serious, then... then she supposed she couldn't exactly change his mind, but at the very least, he had to give a very compelling reason as to why.]

I don't believe that for a moment. You didn't fight for months to get here now just to surrender. You didn't fight for years, for centuries even, wanting something more, wanting something better, wanting what you deserve, just to give up. I won't tolerate that. For as long as I've known you, I've known one thing with absolute certainty.

[Straightening her posture, she began to approach him, though concerned she would send him sprinting in the opposite direction, she hesitated and abruptly paused shortly after.]

You are an obsessive, over-the-top, self-interested, self-indulgent, protective man, bound by chains you never asked for, sentenced to no shortage of torment, hunted down for seeking what anyone else would want, and you want me to believe that you're just going to march into maw without a second thought. And since we both know you've no army to take on Cazador, you're not intending to come out of it alive. So you're willing to just throw everything away that you've been clinging onto for years.

[Nepione shook her head at him.]

Don't lie to me. Not about this. You can lie to me about everything else, but not this. I deserve more respect than that. I've protected you and put my life before yours plenty of times and I would do so a thousand and more times over with no regrets. I— [Love you.] —have vowed to stay at your side and support you. I have accepted every kind and cruel thing you have put in my vicinity, every moment's mockery, every gentle touch, every stupid excuse you've given me to hide behind your walls. The least you can do is be bloody honest with me.

Date: 2023-12-22 04:36 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (pic#16811248)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[The courage she had to face him withered at his approach, because for all he had protected her, it would not have been difficult for him to simply put one of his pretty daggers right through her neck. Certainly, she'd given him plenty of reason to do so. As he spilt his words out all over the place, she had to pick through them to understand where the truly important ones were. They were, naturally, all important, but...

She needed to know what it was that set him off this time. Besides Raphael. They'd had their guesses on what his back said. Of course, at the time she'd translated for him, it was only conjecture. And it was true that if he was part of something larger, it was a very dangerous thing to bring everyone together. They knew that. And at the time, he'd not wanted her involved then either.

But she had braved a Githyanki creche, the Gauntlet of Shar, the Shadow-Curse, burning buildings, an Illithid colony. What was to stop her from going against Cazador? She had stood against Myrkul, the God of Death, and lived to tell the tale. Was she going to let a vampire lord stop her?

No. Of course not.]


And what do you suppose will happen when you no longer have the protection of the artefact? You will turn and become a thrall for that thing we saw down there. Is that the life you want to live? Do you think that's worth it? I didn't fight this hard, this far, to let you just throw it all away. It's fine if you don't want to come into the city. I won't force that on you. You can stay behind with some of the others if that appeals to you, but like hells am I just going to let you walk away. If you can't face Cazador, I can.

[Lifting a hand, she splayed her fingertips right over where her heart thumped. Somehow, Astarion was always so good at making her feel so very alive. Whether she was angry or stirred by him towards other passionate pursuits, somehow he always made that happen.]

I am still not afraid to do what is necessary, to do what I think is right. I won't hold you to the same expectation, but wherever you're running to, it's not going to stop me from doing what I have to. At a point, one has to stop running. One has to face adversity, even if it's fear. It's fine if you're afraid and it's fine if you feel that you can't fight. Because I will fight for the both of us.

[Because he was worth that, at the very least. Nepione might have been willing to fight for all of them and she had certainly proven it more than once. If she had to prove it one more time, she wasn't going to let anything stop her.]

Date: 2023-12-22 05:36 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (pic#16811272)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
[She was full of a good many retorts for him. Any number that she could have simply drowned him in. Nepione didn't appreciate him raising his voice with her. All it made her want to do was raise hers back in return. Somehow, she refrained. Perhaps because she knew losing her temper with him wasn't going to do any good. Part of her time, her travelling, her charge meant that she had to know when to be measured. Regardless of however she might have felt, Nepione had to be capable of seeing reason, because when others didn't, when they couldn't, she had to be the beacon to guide them.

Could she guide Astarion? She didn't know for certain, but she had to at least try. Better to try and fail than not to try at all.

It seemed like he didn't understand that he couldn't stop others from experiencing free will. He could ask. He could request. But he couldn't make her do anything more than Halsin or someone else could have. Even her own parents couldn't have stopped her. But she suspected that saying it like that might only distress him a touch more. So instead, when she found that he took her into his arms, she endured the surprise and the immediately tension that flooded her.

Of all the things she'd expected, that hadn't been one of them. Unsure of even what to do to begin with, for a breath or two, she simply remained as she was, his arms that were stronger than she would have thought, bound about her, holding her steadily beating heart against him. And after some consideration, she lifted her arms to reciprocate in kind, softening only in slight, though the strength of her resolve remained.

She had already made her decision, with or without his blessing.]


I'm going to pretend I didn't hear all of this defeatist talk.

[The tiefling cleric began, thinking that embracing him in such a way was not... unpleasant. Once again, she felt safe. And it wasn't because the floor was giving way beneath them. A shame that it took so long to get to this point. Not particularly keen to set her gaze upon his, knowing she would be altogether too transparent, she settled for the next best thing. Pressing the tip of her nose into his neck, she nestled against him and her next words escaped her in a considerably quieter tone.]

The fallacy in your little plan here is that if you're not here to stop me, then you can't very well stop me. And as lovely as it is to be held like this, that will prevent you from making any headway on this little one-way adventure you seem keen to take.

[Lifting her chin just enough to acquaint herself with the line of his jaw, she savoured that feeling. It was not often that she had the opportunity to feel his skin against hers.]

Do you think me a flower? All delicate things and soft? It's fine if you don't think I'm capable. I wish you would perceive the strength I held, however. And your own. And how strong we could be together. If you would stop being so stubborn for just a moment or two.

Date: 2023-12-22 07:01 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (pic#16811278)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
["...I think I will be as self indulgent as I want for now- as long as you will allow me."

She hadn't expected that either. Perhaps more argument from him, despite how calmly she presented herself. Or attempted to present herself. But when she felt him lean just a little harder into that embrace, whatever resistance she might have had slowly began to crumble into pieces. Her embrace tightened, became more secure, as if she could possibly protect him from all worldly things that might do him harm simply by holding him. Both of them knew, however, that was impossible, though she would have rather liked to think otherwise.

She still couldn't fully agree with him, however. Shaking her head, she found her words again.]


Absence in body is not equivalent to absence in mind, in heart, in spirit. Just because you wouldn't be here doesn't mean none of us wouldn't think of you. Or that we wouldn't want to help pave a pathway towards a better future for you.

[It was no different for any of the others. Why should it have been different for him? She didn't think it was, but maybe she was oversimplifying it.

She drew back only enough to tip her chin up to more properly eye him. Lifting her hands, she hesitated for just a moment before she carefully curled her touch along his jaw. Provided he allowed her. All she wanted to do was hold him like so. To draw his forehead down to hers.]


I think you're stronger than you think you are. It doesn't matter to me how much strength you have, truly. I can make up for whatever you might not hold right now. Let me protect you. Let me be your anchor. Let me show you the way to go forward. It doesn't have to be forever. And I... I'm not asking for anything from you. I'm not expecting anything. But I want the chance to do this. I would prefer it with your blessing, but I'll do it without if I have to.

Date: 2023-12-22 08:26 pm (UTC)
divinestrike: (#16769109)
From: [personal profile] divinestrike
You always think you can control what I want. Control what I think. Control what I prioritise. [Normally, it would have annoyed her to no end, but he'd been doing that from the very beginning. And now, it just... It amused some part of her. She wasn't certain how that had started, and yet it had.] You can't. I'm my own person. I make my own decisions. I choose what I feel. I choose what's important to me. You don't have to agree with it, but you can't otherwise change it.

[...But it was a little endearing that he tried.

She suspected there really was no way to conceal that racing heart she'd acquired more often in his presence. The warm thrum of blood as it coursed along her insides. The gentle heat that settled into her cheeks when she realised how close he drew her to him. In the sunset, perhaps there couldn't have been a more perfect backdrop. If the situation had been different, she might have likened it to something romantic.

Even with things as they were, it was romantic. She could certainly be reminded of the way he'd turned her heart, though when that had started to happen, she couldn't quite say. She would have much rather thought about that than to think about the prospect of him leaving.

Her gaze could hardly focus on him, feeling just a touch faint, quite possibly the depth of her feelings for him in tandem with that close proximity. Just touching him she felt compelled to touch him more. To learn him and memorise him with her fingertips. She thought other things, at that, the kinds of things that he might have thought her too innocent to consider. What it might have been like to pull her lips across his chilled skin, something that really, truly didn't bother her much. But the thought itself, the way he held her, the truth in her words, all of it left her with a soft, shuddered breath.]


Am I...? [She asked him quietly. Hushed.] You wouldn't have me any other way, I think. Sometimes... the difficult things are worth having.

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Astarion

December 2023

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