[She watched him make way for his feet, the way his posture changed, the same graceful movements he always had. Even when he was feeling annoyed or upset with her. Or whatever it was that he was feeling. She could never really tell. Always felt like she could only guess, and her guess was always wrong.
For just a moment, she felt the sudden rise of... something. It was almost like fear. Like a wave of it, though she couldn't figure out the source. Him, perhaps. The truth in his words, maybe. The concept of failure, when it came to her, knowing that she was not fit to be a leader.
In a way, she felt like things fell apart in front of her and she couldn't even catch them.]
I... [She began quietly, nervously tracing tiefling claws against her collar, a subtle little tremor in her hand.] ...I know. Everyone else handles things better. I try to do the best that I can, but I know that it isn't very good. It would be easier for everyone I think, if I were a different kind of person. [She paused for just a moment before she continued.] No. No, it would be better if I wasn't here at all. I'm only here because a stupid artefact that we barely understand picked me. To call me a leader of anything is... is laughable. I know I'm not even worthy of that.
[When it really dawned on her, she never spoke about her own feelings on their matter. Like they didn't even exist. A part of her wondered why it spilt out of her now. Probably because she had fractured. At least in part.]
You weren't wrong, though. I really am just a tiefling, trying to mother a bunch of people, who don't want it. Who don't need it.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-12-16 12:34 pm (UTC)For just a moment, she felt the sudden rise of... something. It was almost like fear. Like a wave of it, though she couldn't figure out the source. Him, perhaps. The truth in his words, maybe. The concept of failure, when it came to her, knowing that she was not fit to be a leader.
In a way, she felt like things fell apart in front of her and she couldn't even catch them.]
I... [She began quietly, nervously tracing tiefling claws against her collar, a subtle little tremor in her hand.] ...I know. Everyone else handles things better. I try to do the best that I can, but I know that it isn't very good. It would be easier for everyone I think, if I were a different kind of person. [She paused for just a moment before she continued.] No. No, it would be better if I wasn't here at all. I'm only here because a stupid artefact that we barely understand picked me. To call me a leader of anything is... is laughable. I know I'm not even worthy of that.
[When it really dawned on her, she never spoke about her own feelings on their matter. Like they didn't even exist. A part of her wondered why it spilt out of her now. Probably because she had fractured. At least in part.]
You weren't wrong, though. I really am just a tiefling, trying to mother a bunch of people, who don't want it. Who don't need it.