Astarion neither invited her nor told her to sod off, which made it difficult to know what to do. So for the moments that he took to his departure, all she did was let him. He could, at the very least, benefit from some moments to himself. She could afford to give him that.
In the interim, she had long enough to do what damage control she thought was necessary, though it was difficult to do so whilst trying to respect Astarion's secrecy. In the end, all she told their immediate companions was that Astarion needed space and respect. And to let him have it.
Beyond that, she took into mind what he'd told her about Mol, and various other things she'd overheard. It wasn't ten or twelve requests that she thought would be made of her. A handful at best, though most of them seemed to centre around the same thing—missing and imprisoned tieflings. And there was no way she could just stay out of that. There was also the nature of Mol, Rolan, a sleeping man singing a song in his dreams that seemed just alarming enough that Nepione realised she would need to inform Halsin relatively quickly.
She would need time and a night, at least, to map out routes to best cover the grounds of the region. It likely wasn't going to be happening on this night, however, when she thought of Astarion.
...
Deciding she'd given him enough time, she gave only the bare minimum of information to the others who travelled with them—that she would be outside. And she didn't suspect she'd wind up interrupted. There wasn't much she thought could happen here.
It was only by being thorough that she was able to find Astarion, idly picking at the strings of a lute. A lute she was certain looked familiar, at that, no doubt something he'd masterfully pilfered. She'd not even known he could play. But she'd never even asked. In fact, she'd always tried to ask little about him, given he seemed so invested on closing himself off.
For several long, weighted moments, she said nothing after pausing in her approach. Better to let him have his space. If he didn't want her to stay, she'd leave outright. She didn't plan to stay for an extended period either, but...]
I'm sorry.
[It was as much a genuine beginning as she could be. Although he deserved more and as she hesitated for a moment, she felt more like a child who'd been scolded by her parents for doing something dangerous and foolish.]
I... didn't realise how much this was affecting you. I knew that it was. I knew it was something you wanted. No. Needed. It's something you need. Your continued survival depends on it. I knew that, and even then...
[She didn't know how else to address that. There wasn't an excuse.]
You're important to me. What you want is also important to me. It's probably easy to look at how I am and just assume I feel the same way about everything and everyone around me. It isn't. I... don't have the answers to everything and I hate that. I want more than anything to be able to fix everything as conveniently as... as Raphael can. And I can't. But it doesn't mean I won't do everything in my power to take you where you feel you need to go, need to be. I'll still be at your side through all of it. I'll still give up whatever I have to, for you to obtain your freedom. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you if it was necessary.
[The same went for their immediate companions that they made camp with on the daily, but given the conversation wasn't about them, she chose to focus on Astarion specifically.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-12-14 11:01 am (UTC)Astarion neither invited her nor told her to sod off, which made it difficult to know what to do. So for the moments that he took to his departure, all she did was let him. He could, at the very least, benefit from some moments to himself. She could afford to give him that.
In the interim, she had long enough to do what damage control she thought was necessary, though it was difficult to do so whilst trying to respect Astarion's secrecy. In the end, all she told their immediate companions was that Astarion needed space and respect. And to let him have it.
Beyond that, she took into mind what he'd told her about Mol, and various other things she'd overheard. It wasn't ten or twelve requests that she thought would be made of her. A handful at best, though most of them seemed to centre around the same thing—missing and imprisoned tieflings. And there was no way she could just stay out of that. There was also the nature of Mol, Rolan, a sleeping man singing a song in his dreams that seemed just alarming enough that Nepione realised she would need to inform Halsin relatively quickly.
She would need time and a night, at least, to map out routes to best cover the grounds of the region. It likely wasn't going to be happening on this night, however, when she thought of Astarion.
...
Deciding she'd given him enough time, she gave only the bare minimum of information to the others who travelled with them—that she would be outside. And she didn't suspect she'd wind up interrupted. There wasn't much she thought could happen here.
It was only by being thorough that she was able to find Astarion, idly picking at the strings of a lute. A lute she was certain looked familiar, at that, no doubt something he'd masterfully pilfered. She'd not even known he could play. But she'd never even asked. In fact, she'd always tried to ask little about him, given he seemed so invested on closing himself off.
For several long, weighted moments, she said nothing after pausing in her approach. Better to let him have his space. If he didn't want her to stay, she'd leave outright. She didn't plan to stay for an extended period either, but...]
I'm sorry.
[It was as much a genuine beginning as she could be. Although he deserved more and as she hesitated for a moment, she felt more like a child who'd been scolded by her parents for doing something dangerous and foolish.]
I... didn't realise how much this was affecting you. I knew that it was. I knew it was something you wanted. No. Needed. It's something you need. Your continued survival depends on it. I knew that, and even then...
[She didn't know how else to address that. There wasn't an excuse.]
You're important to me. What you want is also important to me. It's probably easy to look at how I am and just assume I feel the same way about everything and everyone around me. It isn't. I... don't have the answers to everything and I hate that. I want more than anything to be able to fix everything as conveniently as... as Raphael can. And I can't. But it doesn't mean I won't do everything in my power to take you where you feel you need to go, need to be. I'll still be at your side through all of it. I'll still give up whatever I have to, for you to obtain your freedom. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you if it was necessary.
[The same went for their immediate companions that they made camp with on the daily, but given the conversation wasn't about them, she chose to focus on Astarion specifically.]