[The more surprising notion was the feeling of his fingers weaving carefully between hers. Like some unspoken... she wouldn't have called it agreement. Understanding, perhaps. That a part of him knew already what she thought. How she felt, though she supposed there was not much in the way of what she said that wasn't evident already. Short of simply using special, weighted words like 'love,' she suspected she got her point across.
In listening to him, it was all she did. No protests. No arguments. She wasn't really asking anything of him. Not asking him for anything, either. She'd never much felt that she could. It would have been irresponsible of her. Not just with him, either. It would have been irresponsible regardless of who was on the other end, which was another unspoken reason for why she wasn't inclined to get involved with Halsin.
Lying with Astarion, she could handle. Doing next to nothing. Simply admiring, talking, holding his hands. She could do all of those easily enough. Anything beyond that, she suspected she only ever would have been a disappointment. If not then, certainly later. But she heard him well enough. Understood him well enough. He was worried about her. Genuinely worried. Afraid that he wouldn't have been able to protect her.
She wondered if anyone else had ever cared about her like that before. For some moments, she looked curious. Minutely so, anyway. No judgement. No particular hurt, and she wasn't really hurt. That was the nice thing about not having expectations of him to begin with. He couldn't disappoint her, because she'd never pinned any hopes on him. If anything, she'd only ever been incredibly realistic when it came to who he was.
After a moment's consideration, she simply accepted what he said, not feeling any need to address it more than he already had. Instead, she laughed a little.]
That's not what I was suggesting. [She admitted, wondering how else she could have said it. She had long since established he wasn't going to do any feeding off of her and why should he have? As a tiefling, she couldn't imagine there was anything appealing about her blood. She was probably as wretched as Araj.] I just meant that I kind of liked it when you touched me there.
[Turning back onto her side, she set her focus back on the fire, content enough to turn her thoughts back onto where she suspected they more properly belonged.]
no subject
In listening to him, it was all she did. No protests. No arguments. She wasn't really asking anything of him. Not asking him for anything, either. She'd never much felt that she could. It would have been irresponsible of her. Not just with him, either. It would have been irresponsible regardless of who was on the other end, which was another unspoken reason for why she wasn't inclined to get involved with Halsin.
Lying with Astarion, she could handle. Doing next to nothing. Simply admiring, talking, holding his hands. She could do all of those easily enough. Anything beyond that, she suspected she only ever would have been a disappointment. If not then, certainly later. But she heard him well enough. Understood him well enough. He was worried about her. Genuinely worried. Afraid that he wouldn't have been able to protect her.
She wondered if anyone else had ever cared about her like that before. For some moments, she looked curious. Minutely so, anyway. No judgement. No particular hurt, and she wasn't really hurt. That was the nice thing about not having expectations of him to begin with. He couldn't disappoint her, because she'd never pinned any hopes on him. If anything, she'd only ever been incredibly realistic when it came to who he was.
After a moment's consideration, she simply accepted what he said, not feeling any need to address it more than he already had. Instead, she laughed a little.]
That's not what I was suggesting. [She admitted, wondering how else she could have said it. She had long since established he wasn't going to do any feeding off of her and why should he have? As a tiefling, she couldn't imagine there was anything appealing about her blood. She was probably as wretched as Araj.] I just meant that I kind of liked it when you touched me there.
[Turning back onto her side, she set her focus back on the fire, content enough to turn her thoughts back onto where she suspected they more properly belonged.]