[If she asked just few days before, he would have fully welcomed her. A resting head on his lap was nothing in the greater scheme of things. Now the simple idea made his knees weak and his chest flutter and- if she was the one who asked, he would have still offered himself as a pillow. Astarion wanted to see her take some time for herself, breathe, not be constantly involved in everyone's troubles- it worried him. Especially because getting her to share any of that weight was almost impossible and his new 'distance' wasn't going to help things either.
He smiled, instead of expressing his worries, and brought both hands behind his back, slightly wiggling back and forth on the spot. Now he just had to come up with a believable lie to make sure she was going to keep it and make sure she didn't trust in it if Astarion wasn't able for whatever reason to prepare the ward. She had to know the short lived glow was the activation signal and that- huh... sometimes the ring could not function? He glanced toward the fire on his left, feeling the weight of his very sudden choice. Zero preparation time was still zero preparation time.]
It is not. [That he could at least say with certainty.] I... don't think you would have accepted it. It's a warding ring. It protects the wearer from any normal weapon's damage and gives you extra resistance to many things- I couldn't see any scenario in which you wouldn't offer it to someone else instead. It... will activate daily. Maybe not often, it's a bit defective, so don't do anything stupid until you see the glow. It's also bound to you until you die or it runs out of magic so...
[So if he died, she would at least be smart enough not to trust the ring anymore.]
But you-
[He could... offer something, at least? he didn't want to hurt her. She didn't deserve to be sad because of him and perhaps it was cruel but he couldn't be honest about his feelings. There was just no life for him. Nor with him. Raphael's need for something so big for a translation, a whole hunt for another devil, scared him. And... he was undead anyway. IF he somehow managed to survive Cazador and the Absolute, he was just going to see everyone pass by and fade at some point, possibly only Withers was going to stick around. He still let out a big sigh and decided to let her go with something positive to cling on, even if it was not the truth.]
I care. Against my better judgement. I think... we're... [Even using that word sincerely was difficult and it took him a moment to get it out, unable to even look in Nepione's direction.] friends? I think? It's not something I usually do. I don't usually care. I guess being under the sun for once made me a bit softer? Ugh, pathetic, I know.
[He did follow her gaze to the druid and even if it crushed his heart, Astarion leaned forward, placing one hand on her knee and whispering in a reassuring manner.]
Go to him. He won't push you away. Resting comes easier when you're with someone you trust- or so I have been told. I don't think I can close my eyes for a second. Raphael whispered in my eyes I really, really want to seal our deal and know what's on my back before reaching Baldur's Gate. Whatever it is, it's not good and... I don't think I can get my head away from it.
[At least he had that excuse, even if didn't cover the real reason he was so restless.]
no subject
He smiled, instead of expressing his worries, and brought both hands behind his back, slightly wiggling back and forth on the spot. Now he just had to come up with a believable lie to make sure she was going to keep it and make sure she didn't trust in it if Astarion wasn't able for whatever reason to prepare the ward. She had to know the short lived glow was the activation signal and that- huh... sometimes the ring could not function? He glanced toward the fire on his left, feeling the weight of his very sudden choice. Zero preparation time was still zero preparation time.]
It is not. [That he could at least say with certainty.] I... don't think you would have accepted it. It's a warding ring. It protects the wearer from any normal weapon's damage and gives you extra resistance to many things- I couldn't see any scenario in which you wouldn't offer it to someone else instead. It... will activate daily. Maybe not often, it's a bit defective, so don't do anything stupid until you see the glow. It's also bound to you until you die or it runs out of magic so...
[So if he died, she would at least be smart enough not to trust the ring anymore.]
But you-
[He could... offer something, at least? he didn't want to hurt her. She didn't deserve to be sad because of him and perhaps it was cruel but he couldn't be honest about his feelings. There was just no life for him. Nor with him. Raphael's need for something so big for a translation, a whole hunt for another devil, scared him. And... he was undead anyway. IF he somehow managed to survive Cazador and the Absolute, he was just going to see everyone pass by and fade at some point, possibly only Withers was going to stick around. He still let out a big sigh and decided to let her go with something positive to cling on, even if it was not the truth.]
I care. Against my better judgement. I think... we're... [Even using that word sincerely was difficult and it took him a moment to get it out, unable to even look in Nepione's direction.] friends? I think? It's not something I usually do. I don't usually care. I guess being under the sun for once made me a bit softer? Ugh, pathetic, I know.
[He did follow her gaze to the druid and even if it crushed his heart, Astarion leaned forward, placing one hand on her knee and whispering in a reassuring manner.]
Go to him. He won't push you away. Resting comes easier when you're with someone you trust- or so I have been told. I don't think I can close my eyes for a second. Raphael whispered in my eyes I really, really want to seal our deal and know what's on my back before reaching Baldur's Gate. Whatever it is, it's not good and... I don't think I can get my head away from it.
[At least he had that excuse, even if didn't cover the real reason he was so restless.]