[The way he snapped in her direction, raising his voice and sounding offended by the simple suggestion, surprised him. He needed control, he needed to hold back things, he had to keep his plan together because by the gods he had meat shields and they could buy them time and he refused to listen to the stupid little voice that told him his group was the first group of friends he had in almost two centuries. Screw them, screw everyone, screw everything.
Even if his body had no pulse nor life, it still reacted to his emotions more than he wanted, like he couldn't hold back his screams when Cazador tortured him. His hands were shaking, even if he hide them under his shoulders by crossing his arms, his unnecessary breath was irregular and fast the few times he found himself inhaling. She was his shield, his only real 'bond' in the camp from what he could see, and all the good work he put to land in her graces- he was squandering his own efforts but because he felt... emotional.
His former master still had a hold on him, no matter how distant he was, and now it was more clear than ever, especially because instead of working on getting things better, adjusting what had to be done, he couldn't help his next words.]
Do you think I don't know how devil works? I laughed at Wyll's stupidity when I heard of his fucking pact and yet here I am because it's still better- [He moved one hand up, pointing toward the inn like he was trying to prove a point. Raphael was there, so that... made sense, right?] It's still better than anything I could go back to. The only reason I have any vague idea of what I look like is because he ripped my face from me and wore it himself, laughing, this is the person we're traveling toward to.
[It took him to realize his arm was slightly shaking as well to snap it back against his body, hiding his hand once more.]
If he was to find out that I care about someone, if he was to find out that you helped me, gods only knows what he would do to you. And since they do shit for us mortals, and I would know since I tried them all, they wouldn't even bother to inform you that bastard is approaching and that you should run.
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[The way he snapped in her direction, raising his voice and sounding offended by the simple suggestion, surprised him. He needed control, he needed to hold back things, he had to keep his plan together because by the gods he had meat shields and they could buy them time and he refused to listen to the stupid little voice that told him his group was the first group of friends he had in almost two centuries. Screw them, screw everyone, screw everything.
Even if his body had no pulse nor life, it still reacted to his emotions more than he wanted, like he couldn't hold back his screams when Cazador tortured him. His hands were shaking, even if he hide them under his shoulders by crossing his arms, his unnecessary breath was irregular and fast the few times he found himself inhaling. She was his shield, his only real 'bond' in the camp from what he could see, and all the good work he put to land in her graces- he was squandering his own efforts but because he felt... emotional.
His former master still had a hold on him, no matter how distant he was, and now it was more clear than ever, especially because instead of working on getting things better, adjusting what had to be done, he couldn't help his next words.]
Do you think I don't know how devil works? I laughed at Wyll's stupidity when I heard of his fucking pact and yet here I am because it's still better- [He moved one hand up, pointing toward the inn like he was trying to prove a point. Raphael was there, so that... made sense, right?] It's still better than anything I could go back to. The only reason I have any vague idea of what I look like is because he ripped my face from me and wore it himself, laughing, this is the person we're traveling toward to.
[It took him to realize his arm was slightly shaking as well to snap it back against his body, hiding his hand once more.]
If he was to find out that I care about someone, if he was to find out that you helped me, gods only knows what he would do to you. And since they do shit for us mortals, and I would know since I tried them all, they wouldn't even bother to inform you that bastard is approaching and that you should run.