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Closed to @divinestrike
[It had been few weeks of travel since they left the Grove behind and Astarion spent most of his time fighting and preparing for the Shadow Curse and all that it seemed to involve. The original goal was to travel through the underdark after dealing with the Myconids, the durgears and all that nice stuff. He even found himself deeply amused by the little tower exploration and how one of the robot guardians just... hugged one of his companions. Whoever build them had to be a true, lonely loser. A spectator here, a dwarf saved from mushrooms there, the area was secured with Nere dead and... it turned out the elevator was stuck. Days worth of work- WASTED! Katlach had been lucky in getting a new armor from the forge, but all Astarion got was a laughing amulet that refuses to get off him.
After some discussion, traveling on the surface seemed like the best possible option, even if the mountain opass was guarded by Lae'Zel's people and they seemed rather hostile and dangerous. A daring escape from a killing githyanki machine, an encounter with Elminster and many other problems later they were finally on the right road fortheir destination.
And Astarion's Anxiety was only growing the closer they got to Baldur's Gate. Not only now they traveled with a druid, someone who probably saw him as an insult to natural order, but as soon as they passed whatever awaited them in the Tower... he would be within reach of Cazador once more. Needless to say, his need to reaffirm himself as a valuable team member kept increasing the more they traveled.
It was with absolute delight that he recognized some familiar roads during one of his hunting trips, and for once he didn't even mildly protest when the good souls in his group stopped on their tracks to help some villagers in danger. No. He gathered some valuable things, threw in his bag some other things he looted during his journey and proceeded toward Candlekeep. He could remember Cazador talking about lovely crypts right under the old fort and an old entry that allowed to pass through some cracks between the walls. He left the camp at night with the excuse of food, set down his trap, and waited.
The sun was already setting on the horizon and the group's tents had already been set down when he finally approached his prey. How many days had it been since he last tried to flirt with the Cleric of Selune? Probably too many. He smirked, leaned against the tent like he had a real support and tilted his head to the side, trying to give himself a mischievous but also... almost affectionate expression.</small>]
Well, good evening, darling. It's been far too long from the last time we had a private chat, wouldn't you agree?
After some discussion, traveling on the surface seemed like the best possible option, even if the mountain opass was guarded by Lae'Zel's people and they seemed rather hostile and dangerous. A daring escape from a killing githyanki machine, an encounter with Elminster and many other problems later they were finally on the right road fortheir destination.
And Astarion's Anxiety was only growing the closer they got to Baldur's Gate. Not only now they traveled with a druid, someone who probably saw him as an insult to natural order, but as soon as they passed whatever awaited them in the Tower... he would be within reach of Cazador once more. Needless to say, his need to reaffirm himself as a valuable team member kept increasing the more they traveled.
It was with absolute delight that he recognized some familiar roads during one of his hunting trips, and for once he didn't even mildly protest when the good souls in his group stopped on their tracks to help some villagers in danger. No. He gathered some valuable things, threw in his bag some other things he looted during his journey and proceeded toward Candlekeep. He could remember Cazador talking about lovely crypts right under the old fort and an old entry that allowed to pass through some cracks between the walls. He left the camp at night with the excuse of food, set down his trap, and waited.
The sun was already setting on the horizon and the group's tents had already been set down when he finally approached his prey. How many days had it been since he last tried to flirt with the Cleric of Selune? Probably too many. He smirked, leaned against the tent like he had a real support and tilted his head to the side, trying to give himself a mischievous but also... almost affectionate expression.</small>]
Well, good evening, darling. It's been far too long from the last time we had a private chat, wouldn't you agree?
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With one dagger away inside a dead kid's skull and only one blade at hand, he found himself lifting one foot up and using the bottom of his boots to kick one of the enemies' stomach with it, pushing it against the wall and cracking its head. Not the best idea since that gave another undead the opportunity to reach for his ankle and block it mid air.]
Well, fuck you too, skullface!
[No grace as he bounces on his only free leg, stabbing the creature repeatedly until it fell to the ground and moving to face the next shadow that entered through the door. He had to stay focused and make sure none of them passed after him. Feeling a bit of fatigue already, he did spend two days without meditation after all, the vampire cursed knowing Friends instead of Blade Ward, a little cantrip like that would have helped immensely when, despite dodging almost everything, he kept being hit.
The vampire wasn't too sure on how he did it, but in the end he kept stalling every undead who walked in and, despite having to drink a potion to sustain himself, managed to toss a last body into a corner and claim a small victory for the moment. The sheep he summoned popped away mid jump and he bent his back forward, resting his hands against his knees and trying to recover a bit.
This. Is not. How I hoped our date to go.
[And they still had to find their way out.]
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She really only ever wanted to be some insignificant priestess who travelled the continent, helped people along the way who were in need, and went about her business with giving up little more than her name.
How things had turned so rapidly.
When he tossed aside the last body, she found herself eyeing the doorway intently, wondering if that was the last of them. How many had there been, again? It was so difficult to tell with the remaining viscera that littered the ground. Astarion looked as though he'd seen better days, despite the idea that his features had largely remained unchanged. If anything, he simply looked tired. Or whatever an elf's equivalent was.
She took a moment more to assess and slowly—carefully—moved from her hiding spot, though when she heard what he had to say, she paused. Weren't they here to go chasing after food for him?]
I'm sorry, what?
[At what point had this been a date?
Although it really wasn't the time to get into all of that and she knew that, so she decided not to address it any further. Remaining painfully still, she tried to focus on what she could hear, if there were any additional approaching footsteps. Maybe they were lucky and that was the end of them.
Wouldn't that be nice.]
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He took a few steps back, still not turning his back to the entrance, and then turned in the cleric's direction, kneeling right in front of her and making himself small. Hopefully they were going to have a good moment of respite, because Astarion didn't know if he could take wave after wave of random shamblers.
Yikes, he was covered in the dry remains of all the things he had to stab down, he needed a shower so badly right now. Oh, that was probably the only thing he missed of his old life, running old water. Not that he had any intention of going back, but perhaps if they could stop by an inn...]
Don't think too much about it..
[A simple comment waving his hand and dismissing her thoughts. He wasn't going to court too much until they were safe. But speaking of the little things- he reached to his own cape, taking it off and passing it to the cleric. Carrying her around was out of question and leaving her exposed in any way was against his interests, so...]
I will go scouting to find a way out. I'm more efficient if I can snipe them from the shadows and open us a path. Traps and such will also be easier to deal with if I'm alone. You just... stay safe, okay?
[He didn't even have to try to sound too worried, he was genuinely afraid to let her down. Mostly because his head is going to fall if she got even more hurt. All he could offer was his cape to keep warm as long as she had to wait and pray that the crypt didn't reserve them any terrible surprise.]
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[Well. She didn't think he should go on his own, but he seemed fairly intent on what he was doing. When he offered his cape, she spent some moments simply eyeing it before she begrudgingly accepted. His explanation was perfectly logical as well. It wasn't that it was personal. It's that he was doing what was best for all of them in the long run. And if he could find a way out, then it'd be easier for them to make their way back up and out.
It'd also give her the time to more properly look over herself and see what she could do to tend to her own injuries. As she shifted, she offered him a nod.]
I won't go anywhere. I'll stay right here.
[Not that she thought she was getting anywhere quickly. Even if she handled the pain, it wasn't going to completely fix it. Healing never worked like that. It only worked well enough to get them through a situation. Nights at camp were really the ones best for rest.]
I know I said this already, but I do mean it. You can't do anything reckless. Scout, find a way forward, secure it if needed, and come back. I won't know how to explain to the others if something happens to you because of me.
[It was a rare showing of her true thoughts. Her true vulnerabilities that she didn't much like the others to know about. That idea that she found them all to be her responsibility. And if something happened to any of them, it was because she hadn't been enough, that she hadn't done enough. It would have called all of her credibility into question and considering she didn't feel she had much to begin with, she didn't feel she could afford to lose any.]
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He let out a small sigh, curled his lips up on one of the corners and offered a somewhat amused expression.]
Isn't that what I should tell you? I promise I will be as silent as a shadow. We're just one floor underground so it's just a matter of finding the stairs up and... once you're safe up there I'll come back here, Misty Step my way up, unlock the door and we can escape from where we came from, mh?
Or, if I find a rope, I'll just... jump up and help you climb.
[He tried to sound warm, but the practicality in his tone was still present. They needed a way out and he was going to make it, now he just had to find out how. Hopefully the crypts weren't as large as he feared. The man winked in her direction, asked a 'no good luck kiss?' and then got up, his hands patting the leather armor in order to get rid of at least some of the dust and various body parts that covered him.
His big advantage with the undead was that he could easily mix between them, they wouldn't detect any heat or presence if he slowed down and took his time, but the place was cold and his knowledge of Tiefling biology too limited to know if Nepione was going to struggle for it. Fire resistance was a thing and he remembered something about cold and electricity too but it wasn't something he ever had to study since in Baldur's Gate they were relatively rare and if he had to lure them to his master because he wanted an exotic meal... well, Astarion used his body as a weapon, not spells.]
I'll be back.
[And with that he was gone, a cat shaped minor illusion trotting ahead of him to attract the attention of any creature in range and his vampiric self crawling in the shadows. Needless to say, the entire exploration was a long and painful ordeal. Every other corner there was a group of zombies and he had to painfully find the best spot where to hide, send his little illusion forward in order to make them turn away from him and then take them down one by one with arrows. Exposing himself to recover what he used and refill his quiver was unpleasant, but fortunately enough he spent the past two centuries living between the shadows and even if slowly he was making progress.
Traps were ever present, he lost a good amount of arrows triggering them from a distance to unleash their fury on undeads that were wandering through the corridors -bastard seemed to know where not to step despite their brain being literal mush-, and few corridors were blocked by debris. There were fortunately enough some studies where he got some extra supplies, even if he wasn’t really sure if any of the potions still worked -only one way to find out- and he had the extreme luck of using the last Speak with Dead spell on a scribe that actually replied to him. And gave him directions.
Almost an hour was spent clearing the way, no matter if the path itself wouldn’t take more than 15 minutes walking normally, and he felt like sending a kiss to the night sky when he finally surfaced on ground level and managed to see the stars through a hole in the walls. Illusions were thrown all around the place to lure eventual motion attracted creatures. Nothing. Another couple of Minor illusions were used to generate sounds around and still nothing.
Astarion waited a good five more minutes just trying to spot anything that could be a danger before rushing back to his cleric. Now he had to get her up, use his last spell to cast invisibility on her, then rush back once more and unlock the door to let her out. He.. he got this. He looked like a walking disaster when he appeared back in the room where he left Nepione, desperately needing a bath, but they were still alive and that was what mattered.]
Can you walk? I think we’re… safe.
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She loosed a breath that was very nearly amused. No. Certainly not in the precise moment. But perhaps when all was said and done... After all, Astarion had certainly gone out of his way to take care of her. She likely could have surrendered one to him. It was something worth considering, though she had never been in the habit of such things.
The rest of what he had to say was reassuring. He sounded sure of himself and it was one of the rarer times that she appreciated what she'd often interpreted as 'arrogance' coming from him. Even then, however, she'd decided relatively early on that he had every right to perceive himself in such a way.
When he told her he'd be back, she offered him a short little nod, watching him disappear into the darkness with a... strangely heavy heart. Despite knowing he could take care of himself, in the same way her nerves fluttered each time they left companions back in camp, she found herself with the very natural worry and concern. If only because she couldn't control everything that happened. Not being able to feel in control was a terrifying thing. At least with control, she could suspect what the consequences might have been. Prepare herself. When she had no such power, she couldn't even pretend that she had a plan in ready.
The stay on her own was... quiet. A little uncomfortable. The same level of discomfort she'd oft found when she was in her solitude at camp. Thinking about the path they were on, how far it would lead them, where her responsibilities lied, what would happen if she somehow didn't make it along the way, and realising she had piece things together in such a way that if such a thing did come to pass, it was paramount that the others would be able to travel seamlessly forward without her.
But those were the kinds of darker thoughts that Nepione hid beneath the surface of her seemingly unending optimism. It was so very important that she did not expose too much of that, if any. Better that they thought better things of her.
Drawing Astarion's cape around herself in an effort to keep the majority of her warm, she listened to the emptiness that made itself her most intimate companion and when she deigned that she was likely safe enough to remove herself from the debris, she carefully did so, trying to remain as light on her feet as possible. She'd need the space and relative 'comforts' to look herself over. It was likely little more than a sprain. Perhaps a muscle pulled. Abrasions at worst. Well, broken bones, really, though she suspected likely nothing so severe.
Whatever it was (something she could establish at camp later on), a simple healing alleviated the pain as she sat on the ground, bundled up in not much. She was considerably better with heat, admittedly. Cold was a challenge and to her, it was the real foe. Better that she didn't wear anything heavier. It wasn't hard to imagine the way metal seemed to absorb the cold. Her hard leathers were a wise choice on this occasion.
In time, she lost track of it. Not that she ever had it to begin with. Wondered where the position of the moon was. Longed for it in her own way. Wondered how far Astarion had gotten. But she never quite got to the part where she had cause for concern, for at some point as she waited for the return of the only friendly undead. When he did finally make his return, she had long since had her knees pulled to her chest, burying her face in her arms, his cape securely atop her. His voice, however, startled her so soundly, that she was roused just about immediately.]
Oh—
[As she took the next breaths to more better concentrate her gaze on him, Nepione stretched her arms above her head and she offered him an initial nod to answer him.]
Mhm. [She continued, waiting for her words to continue. Clearing her throat, she somewhat unsteadily made her way to her feet, though it had nothing to do with pain and everything to do with her impromptu nap.] I should be fine. A little cold, but I can endure that. I'm mostly just glad that you're safe.
Here— [As she carefully drew his cape from her, she offered it over with the smallest curve of her mouth.] What did you find?
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No, he had to stay functional, in character and not show any of his worries. The vampire made sure to check the room and moved toward her, looking down at the cape, picking it up and merely wrapping it once more around her shoulders. She needed it more than he did, humidity and all, and it was a gallant gesture. Nepione didn't need to know how much of his actions were driven by a conscious choice, even if a rather quick one, and which weren't part of the act.]
I found zombies for days and the stairs up. I tried to lure whatever was in the main room where they open but nothing seemed to move so it should be safe enough. I can still cast invisibility once until I take a medidative session and that's for you. I will need you to stay very still and silent until I can open the door. Gods know if what ate the deer's meat is still around and I don't want to know if the answer is 'yes'.
[A whisper, nothing more. Yes, he still had the deer story in mind, it was still a cohesive lie, but he was exhausted. He couldn't even regain some energy by biting into his enemies, zombies didn't exactly have the best bloodflow, it was even worse than the clots that usually filled a vampire's body when it wasn't fed for too long.]
I'm glad to see you can walk, though. Now, let's get out of here.
[He was quickly back to the door, still fully alert. There were some sounds, perhaps, but they were coming from the other side, where the door had been barricated, so unless a creature much stronger than the average rotten corpse decided to show up that area wasn't going to be a problem. What else? He couldn't even smell efficiently anymore, not when his nose was full of every possible crap imaginable.
The sooner they got back to camp, the sooner he was going to be forced to offer explanations to the group. But as soon as he was done? If there was even a puddle near their tents, he was going to beg anyone for a piece of soap and take care of himself.]
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Taking into account what he'd asked of her, she nodded. (Less asking and more heavily-weighted... Well. It wasn't really a demand, but maybe something akin to that.) In a very quiet voice, she cast a look to the door.] Okay. I won't say more than I have to. [Which started in that moment, drawing her arms in tight against herself. She wasn't really the subtle type and that was much of the reason she'd likely never gotten herself involved with his line of work. Astarion was so much better when it came to stealth. She was far too lacking in grace to pull anything like that off.]
[Much as she wanted to help him, she refrained, remaining in place, though taking a moment to look about. The whole misadventure had really done a number on them. Astarion looked like he'd seen better days. Her hair was a mess, errant locks of dark blue hanging every which way from the way she'd pulled it up. Her face easily smudged. It certainly looked like the two of them had at least fallen into something. Astarion had the worst of it, however.
As long as she got somewhere warmer, she couldn't have said she cared much what order anything came in. But for a man like him... Well. Astarion always enjoyed the finer things in life. Drawing her gaze back onto Astarion, she patiently waited, softly glowing eyes taking him in, in the event that he wanted her to move elsewhere or otherwise do something that wasn't a part of his original request.
She was definitely more than ready to leave. But at least they weren't leaving completely empty-handed.]
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He lead the way in the darkness, making sure no traps were remaining and no other bodies decided to wander in their directon, then brought her in front of the still locked door.]
It's not like you don't have to talk, darling- [just a whisper, nothing more.] I love your voice almost as much as I love mine. But I'm... very eager to go back and try to make myself presentable. Now, give mee a moment, mh?
[With invisibility casted, he knew he had no more than five minutes to go back to the room where they started, this without breaking concentration, and unlock the door for her. The entire path was a rush, he didn't stop running until he was in front of the same plank he saw before, probably awakening some more zombies in the meanwhile, and misty stepping his way up there. He cursed under his breath the fact he tossed the keys away so the locks wouldn't be tied back to him and got to work, managing to open the door in a somewhat record time.
If anyone asks why I look like this, we had a very rough night of lovemaking. It totally wasn't me rolling between century old but still wet guts.
[Was it a joke? Was he seriously considering to tell that to the others? Who even knew at this point? He was just delighted to step outside, back under the stars. Even his body language was betraying how tired he was, no more eccentric gestures or body dancing around until he had time to recover.
At least she got something out of the ordeal, so there was a good memory association, right? Did the little necklace survive the fall? Did the scrolls survive it? He invested more than he wanted in this mess and hopefully someone got something from it.]
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Maybe it was the cold, the situation, or the entire night encompassed into those moments, but she suddenly felt very aware of herself. Of him. A soft little catch of her breath ensued and she drew her bottom lip beneath her teeth for just a moment. Just enough time to compose herself. Perhaps she could simply pass it off as though the chill had gotten the better of her. Not that his words were getting to her.
If she gave herself more than a moment or two to consider it, letting him hold her hadn't been the most awful thing. He'd done what he had out of necessity, but there was no doubting that she had felt safe in those moments. Something had very much told her that Astarion would not have let anything happen to her, regardless of whatever reason he had going on up in his head. His reasoning, after all, hardly mattered.
Would that she could allow herself to think she had some manner of value. Well, more value than she thought she had.]
Uhm. Yes. Of course.
[Lifting a hand, she lightly rubbed at the flush in her cheek, pointedly dropping her gaze, thinking she was not at all good at handling such words. She stayed where he left her and she was left with little more than her thoughts. Hopefully they'd not caused a great deal of concern for the others. If they did, she was going to have to give some kind of explanation. Even without them looking, just their appearance was worthy of clarification. How much would they believe they were simply catching Astarion's dinner for the night?
She was still thinking it when she heard the doorway open. The words that followed were... perfectly him. So stunned she was by them that it took her more than a breath to clear her throat and issue him a shake of her head.]
No. [She wasn't any good at lying anyway and there was no way she'd be able to act familiar enough with him that she could even pass that off.] I was intending just to tell them we were hunting your dinner. Which is what I told them when we left. If you're so concerned about how they perceive your appearance, let them be distracted by mine and you can go wash.
[Because she didn't care what she looked like. Mostly. Brushing her hair all over again was going to be extra time she didn't want to spend, but at least it was somewhat enjoyable. Lifting her hands, she patted herself down, still relatively tucked beneath his cape, making sure she still had everything. It seemed so. It had not been a total waste.
Still a shame that the books were of no practical condition, however.
She paused for just a moment as she eyed the sky and loosed a breath that felt as if it carried the weight of so many other things. How beautiful it looked. How nice it was to be there then, even as dishevelled as she appeared. Too bad she couldn't have stayed longer.]
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And yes, if Astarion had to be honest he would confirm he would have chosen to fall himself before letting anything touch her. On the reasons, he would have much to say about love and feelings, of course- but that would all be a lie. The others could still believe what they wanted though, was it so absurd for a vampire to fall in love with the first person who genuinely shown his kindness? The first person he ever interacted- dagger tinted meeting aside- since he got out of his nightmare and his kidnapping? The first one who acctually accepted him in the group when it was clear he was the one who sucked a willd boar dry?
Karlach was going to fall for this book-like romance so easily. The others no, perhaps, but he just had to be coherent with his actions. Rejecting Lae'zel was probably already a good first step, it was a matter of back pain but he could tie it too his slowly growing feelings. All was... okay enough in the greater scheme of things.]
Oh, please. Do they have to believe I was so inept at getting food I ended up ruining my clothes? Saying we had a rough, rough moment of passion would be perfect to cover our little misadventure. I can even take some of my armor off once we're close enough.
[He got it, it was a no and he wasn't going to say anything she didn't want, but at the same time he was still allowed to tease her, right? He turned in her direction and walked backward for a couple of steps, winking in her direcion.]
Fine, no sexy tales. But tomorrow I expect you to be my mirror to tell me if I look handsome enough when I will be done cleaning myself. Not that I am not by default, but I can certainly look better than this.
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As she followed after him at a comfortable distance, she still turned the entire situation. It was an interesting outing. Date, if one were speaking to him on it. Could it be a date if the other person didn't know that's what it was? She didn't even know where to begin with all of that.
At his assessment of self, Nepione loosed a sigh.]
I don't think you look so bad right now... A little dirty, perhaps. [A lot dirty, actually.] Nothing a bath can't fix. But given that you'll look the same, less some very small variables, my description of you would be the same.
[That was—]
I would probably just describe you as clean.
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Oh, come on, you can do better than that. You could talk about the piercing gaze of my beautiful crimson eyes, how my silver hair only add a celestial aura to my features- don't mention the little creases on the corners of my mouth when I laugh though. There was a person, something like one hunddred and seventy years ago, who couldn't shut up about it. Lovely man, but I am not a grandma.
[Unable to see himself in the mirror, he only knew what others told him. Cazador forbid him from getting any portrait done and his memories of what he looked like were hazy at best. It didn't really matter now, though since despite his intent of fllirting more he could actually already hear their teammate's voices in the distance.]
Gods. I want to charm you and I can already hear Gale screaming your name in the distance. Psh... We must have been away for longer than I thought..
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[She shook her head at him, thinking it would have been more helpful for others to tell him if something he wore looked ridiculous on him. As someone who didn't much care about what she wore or what her appearance was, she was as equally terrible at that. She might have considered driving that point home, but somehow, she suspected that Astarion probably understood, whether he wanted to or not.
Nepione also suspected that she probably could have said all of that in a considerably nicer way. It was something that would warrant later reflection. Much like their entire night, actually.
She stood just a little more straight as she listened in the distance. Her ears couldn't compare at all to present company's, but hers weren't useless either. Better than a human's, at the very least. So caught up she was in the idea that they really had caused concern with their absence that she completely let his 'charming' comment slide right by her.
What he probably had meant was flirting with her.]
It felt like we were in there for a while. I'm not surprised. I feel guilty for making them worry. Do I think they're going to buy that we were just tracking down your dinner? Probably not. Speaking of which— [Turning her attention back onto Astarion.] —I know you said it wasn't my concern how far away from camp your dinners were taking you, but we'll be hitting the Shadow-Curse soon. You can't be doing this sort of thing out there. We don't even know really what to expect. So...
[Drawing in a deep breath, she couldn't actually believe she was going to be addressing this, but—]
When you can't find something near us to sate you, I... suppose I don't mind letting you. [A pause. A slightly uncomfortable one.] You know.
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I like being called pretty words, you know?
[He was trying his best to sound offended while making his point. But others were approaching and he had to make both of them presentable enough: Astarion picked a poor excuse for a napkin from his pockets, something stained with bloods that he used to clean his lips when he was done with a meal, and after licking it he passed it on his face. At least that part could try to look decent enough.]
They'll survive, don't worry, if anythingg they'll be snappy at me but where is the news? I-
[His voice stopped at the very beginning of his next sentence, mask slipping away as he stared in her direction with wide eyes.] What? I mean- [The recover was quick, but the initial shock had been more than evident. He knew she didn't like being touched, it wasn't hard to tell that much by just studying her interactions and reactions, but- no, he had to push down that little voice in the back of his mind still telling him 'no, you're not worthy' in Cazador's voice. She offered, she was a willing prey and he had to- do somethhing about it.]
Of couuuurse, love. I now can't wait to sneak in the Shadow Cursed lands if it will give me a chance to be closer to you. And I get it, who would waste the opportunity to have an assassin like me at the best of his potential in such a terrible place? I- [Wait, this was the perfect moment to show some 'weakness', a glimps into his true feelings, right? His voice lowered, his tone became more calm and he turned hiss back on her once more, like he didn't want to show her face while saying what was about to come.] I... thank you.
[Now they just had to go back to camp and rest, right? Astarion was going to chalk off the entire night as a complete success after all.]
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[Who could blame him. She knew he was vain. It was possible there was more to it, as well. Perhaps he'd never thought much of himself either. Or he'd simply thought of himself only in the idea of what Cazador had put him through. She didn't ask and for all the prying she did, she wasn't going to. Astarion deserved better. He had every right to keep that part of his life to himself. Hells, if she'd been him, she would have done the same.
The little pause that ensued from her... offer, she supposed it was, was noticeable, but only in the way that it was momentary surprise. If it had been any other situation, she wouldn't have made it, but she had a difficult time believing the others in their camp would extend the same courtesy. It was a dangerous thing, letting him do that. Would he know when to stop? Couldn't she simply perish beneath his hands? It required a great deal of trust on her part to permit such a thing.
And it had been a respectful exchange for... a few breaths at least before it became what she expected was very, very normal for him. Shaking her head, she loosed a sigh, tired of... Well. Just about everything. His gratitude did not go ignored. As he turned away, her strides continued, long tail swaying behind her, her movements as if she was never injured to begin with. By the morning, she suspected she would feel a great deal better.
There was more she had to say to him, of course, but as they neared camp, those things would need to wait. Another moment that they had privacy in, she supposed. Something where others would not overhear. And she wasn't about to rush them out for that would have only ruined them. Instead, she held them close to her for the time being.]
It's nothing.
[It wasn't nothing and they both knew it, but it would be easier for her to pretend that it was. She wasn't good at lying, but she was good at pretending and that much she could be confident in.]
Let's not tarry any longer. I'll speak with the others. Go wash yourself up and get to your meditations. I daresay you've earned that at the very least.